i_fell_so_fast

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 04:25:21 GMT

. This is my beautifulll new purse. My sister and I went shopping yesterday, swung by the Coach store and I picked up the pictured purse and scarf, and my sister grabbed a new Op Art shoulder bag... for 40% off. Apparently the Carly shoulder bags were recalled for a quality issue--my sister's has begun to fray a bit at the top, so they offered to either give her a new bag for free, or let her keep her Carly and take 40% off a new purse. She decided on the second option.

Meanwhile, I lovelovelove my bag. It's gorgeous. I'm planning to go back tomorrow though to see their new collection (which was brought out the day after I bought my bag) because I'm looking for a black and white scarf, and they only had one when I was there.

<3
Tiffany Lea

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 04:25:21 GMT

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 22:09:54 GMT

I got 12 hours of sleep last night, and I still feel a bit tired. I got two shots the other night, a tetanus booster and the third Gardasil shot, one in each arm, so my arms were horribly sore all day yesterday. Plus I got about 5 hours of sleep the night before last and woke up at 8:30 AM. This all added together meant that I felt like *crap* all day. I was wondering if I was getting sick, and I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. I wanted to go to bed at about 8:00 PM, lol, but I lasted until 11:00 and then conked out. Woke up at 5:00 AM, went back to bed, and woke up again around 9:30 when my alarm went off. I was planning to get up by 10:00, but then my kitty came and laid down with me, so I couldn't get up then, lol. I finally dragged myself away from him at 11:00. I just think I could spend hours petting cats. I really do. I wuv their little noses, and their paws, and their their ears! Oh goodness. I'm definitely going to be a crazy cat lady.

There are a few things I really need to get done. FIrst of all, I'd like to get another chapter or two of PWF. And secondly, I need to get my room straightened up and organized. Thankfully, I went through a bunch of my clothes a few months ago when Heather moved out because we had to divide up our stuff. I went through it again a few days ago and pulled out another three or so tops. This still means that I have no room whatsoever, but since Heather's not living here anymore, I've taken over her closet. I'm storing all of my coats/jackets/hoodies in there, and I may move some more things over if necessary. Right now, I need to buy some more hangers.

I just need to get organized, really. Everything is sort of thrown somewhere, my dresser drawers don't always close because they're too full. I just have too much stuff, and it's time to throw things out. I am determined to do this before I go back to college. Classes start again on the 19th, and goshdangit I will have everything in order by then.

Hopefully.

<3
Tiffany Lea

Movie Quiz Answers

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 02:09:55 GMT

1. Pick 25 of your favorite movies
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie
3. Post them here for everyone to guess
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search or other search functions

1. "You can look at me with those judgmental eyes all you want, but I bullshit you not, I will bleed on the
American flag to make sure those stripes stay red."

2. "Thank God, cigarettes."
"Thank Lamar, God had nothing to do with it."

~~3. "Guys, a woman's purse, alright, it's her secret source of power. Alright? There are many dark and dangerous things in there, that we, the male species, should know nothing about."~~
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days - Anonymous

~~4. "Maybe there won't be marriage, maybe there won't be sex, but by God, there will be dancing!"~~
My Best Friend's Wedding - Carmanah

~~5. "How could I forget about you? You're the only person I know."~~
The Bourne Identity - MaxieKatt2

6. "I told you not to pick up the phone."
"Then stop calling me!"
Pretty Woman - MaxieKatt2

7. "Stepps ain't no square dance."
"That's okay, I'll dance in circles, probably around you."
Save the Last Dance - MaxieKatt2

8. "Don't dilly-dally there, pretty lady, we're all gonna be down here talking about you."

~~9. "Uh, I've got a name. Ha! And it's a boy's name, too."~~
Mulan - Anonymous

10. "What are you rolling? Whippets? Goof balls? A little wowie sauce with the boys?"
"No! I'm not on any drugs!"
...
"You eyeballing my piece, 50 Cent? You wanna go? Make something happen. Do it. 'Cause I promise you I will bust you up."
"Are *you* on drugs?"
Transformers - Chu_Chii

~~11. "I carried a watermelon."~~
Dirty Dancing - Carmanah

~~12. "Like I could tip cow... by myself!"~~
Sweet Home Alabama - Anonymous

13. "I always meant to return... I just... I kept thinking I'd find it around the next corner..."
"What?"
"A real mystery. I saw remarkable things, but the only mystery I never solved was... why my heart couldn't let go of you."

14. "What do you want to do?"
"Nothin' legal man, let's get out of here."
The Outsiders - Carmanah

15. Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid."
Pirates of the Caribbean - Carmanah

16. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last confession."
"Three days? How many sins could you have committed in three days? Come back when you have more time, please."

~~17."Um... I had an adrenaline rush. It's very common. You can Google it."~~
Twilight - GoodNiteSaigon

~~18. "That's cool Baby... you know how it is, rockin' and rollin'..."~~
Grease - GoodNiteSaigon

19. "I didn't expect you to fall in love!"
"I didn't expect you to fall into the Gap!"
Drive Me Crazy - Anonymous

20. "You just bought yourself another Saturday."
"Ooh, I'm crushed."
"You just bought one more."
"Well, I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm going to have to check my calendar."

The Breakfast Club - Carmanah

21. "Hey! M-M-Mitsubishi!"

22. "You look tired."
"I hate when people say that. It's like a polite way of telling you that you look like shit."
Stepmom - Anonymous

~~23. "I don't believe it! I don't believe it! You're supposed to come here and defend me against these characters and the only one I've got on my side is the bloodsucking lawyer!"~~
Jurassic Park - MaxieKatt2

24. "You can be my wingman anytime!"
"Bullshit, you can be mine!"
Top Gun - GoodNiteSaigon

~~25. "That's a major appliance, that's not a name!"~~

Pretty in Pink - MaxieKatt2

I love Dirty Dancing.

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 03:46:40 GMT

That is all.

<3
Tiffany Lea

PWF

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:55:25 GMT

Ah, finally! A review someone left on Playing With Fire just completely sparked my curiosity and got the ball rolling again, and a new chapter should be up tomorrow. And another one hopefully soon after that. Unless I decide to combine the two (because the first one is a bit dull, if you ask me), in which case it may be a bit longer. But seriously, I am just going to town with it. I already reposted all of the first seven (six?) chapters with minor edits in the wording of some things, just little things that bothered me later, and I only have one class tomorrow so I should have time to get up the next chapter then.

I just feel better that I have gotten things rolling again. Ahh, so relieved. So be watching out for that soon.

<3
Tiffany Lea

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:51:20 GMT

So I went to meet my teacher at 8:45 this morning in the Student Union, right? And I get breakfast and go sit down at a table where I can keep an eye on the entrance from the outside, thinking that's where she'll come in. Well, I get there about 10 minutes early, so I sit down and there's this guy sitting about two tables over waiting for his food, and we have a direct line of vision to each other. And we keep making eye contact and looking away and looking back, and it's awkward but also exciting, and I smile a bit, and basically we're eyeing each other for like ten minutes. Then his food number gets called, so he goes to grab the plate and then he doesn't sit back down where he was. He starts walking toward me. And when he's about five feet away, opening his mouth to talk, and we're making eye contact, my teacher pops up from the left entrance from the lounge (ten minutes late, by the way). "Hey Tiffany! I am so sorry I'm late, I was just on the phone with someone from work and I *could not* get off the phone with them!" And I look at her, and she pulls out a chair, and I look back at this guy, and I make eye contact again and sorta smile ruefully, and he changes course and goes to the lounge to sit down, but he's sorta glancing at me as he walks away.

So then I talk to my teacher for half an hour, and then our class starts in fifteen minutes, and so since she was late she pulls me along with her to run a few errands so we can keep talking and then head to class. And this guy was still there when I left.

Aaaa! I hate that. I will absolutely never know what would have happened if she had shown up five minutes later. Did I totally misread him and he wasn't interested at all? Would we have talked and then walked off without names or numbers? Would he have become a friend? More? I will never know. And I'm SO frustrated with that. I just really hate missed opportunities, you know?

But, you know, if it was meant to happen, then it still will. And if not, then it wasn't important anyway.

<3
Tiffany Lea

I move tomorrow!!!

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:30:06 GMT

And I'm *excited*! A little bit nervous, but mostly excited. This is normal, but it's weird. I'm almost just waiting for the overwhelming anxiety and panic of ohmygodI'mleavingandthingsarechanginganditwillneverbethesameagainholycrap to kick in. But maybe it won't?! Here's hoping!

Things I need to do today:
1) Psychologist appointment at 1:00
2) Eyebrow wax
3) Pack all my shirts into boxes
4) Pack my makeup
5) Make a list of the makeup I'm low on, and place the order
6) Pack my hair items
7) Also jewelry and accessories--purses, bags, belts, etc
8) Pack my chargers--car, phone, camera, iPod
9) Don't forget photo albums and frames, DVDs, water bottles, and small, misc items like my lavender pillow spray, PiNK dogs (if I feel like freaking out my roommate), collaging box, Illusions book, perfumes, etc.
10) Organize my CDs into a folder and pack said folder
11) Clean up litter box and cat food area
12) Shower, Nair, shave (yes both, for some reason, my legs freak out if I don't use Nair before I shave and get red and razor burned)
13) Choose an outfit for move in day tomorrow
14) Reorganize my purse
15) Run all loads of laundry

I think that's it. Oh, and watch Gilmore and relax, and go to bed by 11:00 pm. Or 10:00, if I'm feelin' crazy.

Has anyone ever ordered clothing online? I never have before because there was always that fear of "what if I get the wrong size or it doesn't look good on or it's not comfortable?" But Target is not getting their rain boots in until September, and we've had a recent wave of rain for the past week (seriously, I don't think the sun has come out once.... so not nearly as bad as the Great Month Long Oklahoman Flood of June/Early July, but still, pretty significant. My sister was looking at their rainboots selection online, and there were a bunch of cute ones. She's planning to order some this week, but I'm still on the fence. I'm a pretty consistent 7 1/2, but... still. Surely I can wait two weeks for them to get the boots in, right?

Eh, and anyway, according to the 7 day forecast, it's clearing up after today. 30% chance tomorrow, and a temp of 81... which means perfect move in day! And then there's nothing higher than 30% the rest of the week. So oh well. I'll wait.

I've discovered recently, though, that I have a boot problem. I mean, it fluctuates, you know? It was shirts and tops for a long while, then it kind of morphed into simple tee shirts, then jeans for about a week, and now it's on to boots. Any kind of boot. I bought these black boots that come about halfway up my shin, and they're cute! And, most importantly, they don't have a heel. I've never had boots without a heel, so I am fascinated by this concept. This means I can wear them across campus and still look cute! They were Candies, so they were like $80, but they were marked down to $55, which still seemed a bit steep for someone who's used to paying $30 or less for any pair of shoes, but I figure the use I'll get out of them will even it out. Plus, I was at Target and they have these Pocahontas boots. Tan, no heel boots with fringe on the side. I got those too. I mean, again, I can wear them to class! And have been wearing them nonstop since I got them a few days ago. Pathetic, I know.

LJ Survey, stolen from Sarah

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 18:10:13 GMT

EDIT: By the way, I am absolutely in love with this story on ff.net, Finding the Boy by FeistyFeist. Completely original, great characterization, wonderful pacing and suspension. Definitely nothing like anything I've ever seen before over there. I would definitely check it out...

ABOUT YOUR JOURNAL
What is your LiveJournal username? How did you come up with it?
I_Fell_So_Fast, which, you know, I hate because I'm not a fan of underscores. I believe it came from some quote or something that I liked... and then when I started dating Kyle it seemed appropriate.

Have you renamed before? If so, what were your old names? If you haven't renamed, what names would you want to rename to?
No, I haven't. And I have no idea... I'm horrible at coming up with names. Seriously.

How much does your userinfo say about you?
Is that my little profile thing? Because if so, I think it says a lot. It's a long list of random things about me.

How long have you been on LiveJournal?
Oo goodness... two years?

What is the longest amount of time you've gone without posting?
Probably a couple of months

On average, how many entries do you post per day? (Divide how many total entries you have by how many days you've been on LJ)
No dividing, but probably around once a week. I add more than that sometimes, and less than that sometimes, but it probably evens out...

What are your posts normally about?
My life, pretty much. Lots of them are about drama. And writing.

Is your LiveJournal friends only? Why or why not?
I don't think the LJ itself is, but the majority if the entries are.

Does your LiveJournal have an actual title or are you merely USER @ LiveJournal?
I don't know how to change that, so it's just my user.

How long do you see yourself staying on LiveJournal?
Probably another year or so

ABOUT YOUR FRIENDSLIST
How many people are on your friendslist, not counting private journals, media journals, etc?
What's a private journal? I don't think I have very many, like five or six?

Why do you choose to add a person to your friendslist?
Typically just because I saw them around ff.net...

Is your friends list an actual list of people you consider friends, or more of a reading list?
Reading list, I suppose? In that I don't know any of them outside of the internet...

How often do you read your friendslist?
Every time I get on LJ

Do you use filters when viewing your friendslist?
What's a filter?

How much do you talk to people on your friendslist off of LiveJournal?
Well, not often... occasionally at ff.net, if that counts...

Do you do friends cuts? Why or why not?
No, because I don't know what that is or how to do it...

Do you regularly participate in friending memes? If not, how do you normally find people to friend?
What's a meme!? I thought that was a survey...

How often do you add new friends to your friendslist?
Pretty much never.

Do your friends have to have things in common with you?
Naw.

ABOUT YOUR ICONS / USERPICS
Do you mostly use icons made by yourself or by others?
Others. I don't know how to make them myself. Lol.

Do you have your own icon community? How often do you post in it?
Nope!

How often do you check fandom communities for new posts?
... What's a fandom community? Is that like the Matt Dillon thing? I don't think I'm even a part of any of those, except the Matt Dillon one, and I have that set to show up on my friends list.

Do you contribute to fandom? If so, by way of what?
Nope

Have you ever read (or been featured on) fandom_wank?
... What?

What is one thing you wish you could change about fandom?
Nothing.

I don't know much.

<3
Tiffany Lea

Stolen from... many people.

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 00:36:15 GMT

Hm, someone want to explain to me how to make a cut?

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post the first line(s) from the first 50 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: No more than one entry per band (uhm didn't follow this one either...)
Step 4: Let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 5: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly

1. I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh / I want to hold you high and steal your pain away

2. There's a time and place for everything / There's a reason why certain people meet / There's a destination for everyone / What's the explanation when we're done?

3. Right now I really don't care if I'm alone or if I got you sitting there / Woah no, look I've done it again / Man I should think about it before I say anything / 1, 2, 3, 4, looks like I'm alone again...

4. Close your eyes, make a wish that this could last forever / If only you could stay with me now / So tell me what it is that keeps us from each other now / Yeahh it's comin 'to get me, you're under my skin

5. She's taking her time making up the reasons to justify all the hurt inside / Guess she knows from the smiles and the look in their eyes / Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one / They're saying mommy never loved her much and daddy never keeps in touch / That's why she shies away from human affection

~~6. I tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it / I don't believe it makes me real / I thought it would be easy but no one believes me~~

7. Just gimme the light / yea yea

8. Sleepin' through the evening singing dreams inside my head / I'm heading out, I've got some ends who say care and they just might / I'll run away with you if things don't go as planned / Plannin' big could be a gamble, I've already rolled the dice

~~9. Never made it as a wise man / I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing~~

10. Lookin' for something I've never seen / Alone and I'm in between the place that I'm from and the place that I'm in / A city I've never been / I've found a friend or should I say a foe / Said there's a few things you should know / We don't want you to see we come and we go, here to take on tomorrow

11. Baby, please try to forgive me / Stay here, don't put out the glow / Hold me now, don't bother / If every minute it makes me weaker you can save me / From the man that I've become

12. I don't know what he does to make you cry / But I'll there to make you smile / I don't have a fancy car / To get to you I'd walk a thousand miles

13. Beautiful dawn lights up the shore for me / There is nothing else in the world I'd rather wake up and see with you / Beautiful dawn, I'm just chasing time again / Thought I would die a lonely man in endless night

14. Finally got over that song of ours, stopped chasing little red sports cars / To check the license plates and I quit driving by your place

15. This time, this place, misused mistakes / Too long, too late / Who was I to make you wait?

16. Sunday morning rain is fallin' / Steal some covers, share some skin / Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable

17. Julie was a long way from home / She could make alone look pretty / Her attitude made her part of the landscape / Riding her bike through alphabet city / She likes to party in the backseat under the bridge on the Brooklyn side / Smokin' cigarettes in the afterglow, taking bets that the sun won't rise

18. I was born in a small town / And I live in a small town / Probably die in a small town

19. Aight ready? / Come on man it's what I do / Mike check mike check

20. The moon is shining bright / The mood is feeling right / I'll kiss you on your neck / People will stare but we won't care

~~21. Prison gates won't open up for me / On these hands and knees I'm crawling / I reach for you / I'm terrified of these four walls / These iron bars can't hold my soul~~

~~22. I never really knew that she could dance like this / She make a man wanna speak Spanish / Como se llama? (si) Bonita (si) Mi casa? Su casa?~~

23. Uh huh yeahh / I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart / But you've got bein' right down to an art / You think you're a genius / You drive me up the wall

24. She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene / I said don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one?

~~25. I was so high I did not recognize the fire burning in her eyes / The chaos that controlled my mind / Whispered goodbye as she got on a plane / Never to return again, but always in my heart~~

26. Somewhere there's speaking, it's already coming in / Oh it's rising at the back of your mind / You never could get it unless you were fed it / Now you're here and you don't know why / But under skinned knees and skid marks / Past the places where you used to learn / You howl and listen / Listen for the echoes of angels that won't return

~~27. Broken this fragile thing now and I can't, I can't pick up the pieces / And I've thrown my words all around but I can't, I can't give you a reason~~

~~28. I like where we are when we drive in your car / I like where we are here / Cause our lips can touch and our cheeks can brush / Our lips can touch here~~

29. You wanna know what we say in the club? / A bay bay (heh, may have given that one away)

~~30. We'll do it all, everything, on our own / We don't need anything or anyone / If I lay here, if I just lay here / Would you lie with me and just forget the world?~~

31. Maybe when the room is empty / Maybe when the bottle's full / Maybe when the tour gets broke down love can break in / Maybe when I'm done with thinking / Maybe you can think me whole / Maybe when I'm done with endings / This can begin

~~32. I missed you so much that I begged you to fly in and see me / You must have broke down because you finally said that you would / But now that you're here I just feel like I'm constantly dreaming~~

~~33. Beauty queen of only eighteen / She had some trouble with herself / He was always there to help her / She always belonged to someone else~~

34. Baby girl, what's your name? / Let me talk to you / Let me buy you a drank

35. Here we go / Get on the floor / Woah I'm the party starter / You might have a good time but we party harder

36. Well she's not bleeding on the ballroom floor just for the attention / Because that's just ridiculously on / Well she sure is going to get it / Here's the setting: fashion magazines line the walls / Now the walls line the bullet holes

37. If you could only see the way she loves me / Then maybe you would understand why I feel this way about our love and what I must do / If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says, when she says she loves me

38. Heaven knows that you're with me now / Heaven knows that you're here / I feel your breath all around me now / And all the pain disappears

39. I woke up in New York City from asleep behind the wheel / caught a train to Poughkeepsie and time stood still / She wrote me a letter from San Diego to qualify her luck / These flights connect through to Arizona but I think I'll stay stuck

40. Those are all very beautiful words but actions speak louder / In case you haven't heard, I'm all alone while you're out on the town, drinking with your friends / You can say all these beautiful things but they don't mean nothing, no they don't mean a word / Gotta back it up, but you keep backing down / Tell me how this ends

41. I know there's something in the wake of your smile / I get a notion from the look in your eyes / You've built a love but that love falls apart / A little piece of heaven turns to dark

42. So little time, so little time / So frustrated / So little joy, so little joy / It's complicated

43. Back me down from backing up / Hold your breath now, it's stacking up / Etched with marks but I can deal / You're the problem and you can't feel

44. Between the future and the past tense / Lies the present in the distance / So you think we're never coming back / Scoring points for passion and persistence

45. You lookin' just a little too hard at me / Standin' just a little too close to me / You sayin' not quite enough to me / You sippin' just a little too slow for me

46. Sick and tired of this world / There's no one here / Trippin' over myself / Goin' nowhere

47. Party like a rock, party like a rockstar (can you guess?)

48. Toot that thang up mommie make it roll / Once you pop pop lock it for me get low (forgive me for this one... lol, it was a momentary lapse in music judgment)

49. Cigars in the summertime under the sky by the light / I can feel you read my mind / I can see it in your eyes / Under the moon as it plays, like music every line

50. Circlin' your head / Contemplating everything you ever said / Now I see the truth, I got doubt / A different motive in your eyes and now I'm out / See you later / I see your fantasy / You want to make it a reality paved in gold

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 07:28:50 GMT

Ahh, I'm on a roll with Playing With Fire. Well, 7 pages... but hey, that's impressive for me right now! I posted three of them in a new chapter, and should have another up soon. I'm going to try to stay one or two chapters ahead of myself though, so that this whole four months with no update thing doesn't happen again. I always lose a lot of readers when I take a huge hiatus, so the number of reviews takes a drastic hit.

I'm thinking of hopping on board with this whole two updates a week plan. My goal is to finish both Playing With Fire and Back Home Again before the New Year. I hope I can do that. I'm pretty sure that BHA will turn into a novella, just because I'm not entirely sure what all to do with it and I doubt I can squeeze 20 chapters out of it. I'll be surprised if I get past 15. I'm relatively positive that PWF will be more than 20, just because there's a lot flitting around in my mind that I want to do with it. I intend to work on it quite a bit tomorrow, but I've really got to finish my newspaper article(s) first. And my Mizzou application. I so hate responsibility.

Meanwhile, I think I'll go on to sleep considering I'm hoping to wake up in time to watch the Thanksgiving parade in, oh, six hours.

Of course, the 13 hours of sleep I got last night ought to even out a little, right?

Oh by the way though, I need your input... we have dress-up days next week to celebrate the beginning of basketball season, and one of them is Salad Dressing Day. The suggestions our Student Council gave were to dress up in cowboy garb for Ranch, or in Roman togas for Caesar dressing, etc. If I dress up in scrubs, do any of you make the connection?

Happy Thanksgiving!

<3
Tiffany Lea

Grrr...

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 22:05:48 GMT

Just a mini grr though. My email isn't letting me on, so I'm perturbed. This means I can't see ff.net alerts or anything. I also can't see facebook alerts, but they've got that new notification thing (well, not new anymore) so that's not a problem.

So anyway, if you post new fic, be sure to tell me! I'll let you know if/when my email starts working again.

<3
Tiffany Lea

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 05:14:37 GMT

I need to be struck with some type of amazing inspiration, so that I'll be able to write for weeks. One of those situations where you're up late because you've got it all in your head and you don't want to stop. That happened last night, but quickly fizzled this morning.

The fruits of my labor?
---

If there’s one thing I hate more ‘an fake girls, it’s whining. Which is probably why my job always leaves me wantin’ to shoot myself near the end of any shift. Only reason I kept it was f’r the cash and the gossip. Ain’t no better place to find out the lowdown on anybody on the Northside than the beauty parlor. Of course, after an hour of listening to Little Miss Priss complain about her parents and how strict they are and how they never ever let her do anything, the benefits of my job paled in comparison. Then she didn’t even tip me for the bitchin’ cut I gave her.

“Kathy, yer ten o’ clock is here!’ Laurie called out the propped back door. I glanced back inside long enough to catch a glimpse of Mrs. Salis clutching her purse by the front register. With a sigh, I dropped the cigarette I’d been smoking on the pavement and stamped it out with the toe of my pointed shoe. Mrs. Salis usually tipped pretty well—only thing she’s more protective of than her money is her bob—so I tried to keep her satisfied, which meant big smiles and even bigger ears.

“I hope you weren’t waiting long, Mrs. Salis. If you wanna hop on into my chair, we c’n get you started.”

She smiled with relief, like I was the only thing keeping the other stylists from taking a buzzsaw to her hair, and followed me. “Now Kathy, I just want it trimmed up a little. Same exact cut, just a little cleaner, okay?” She had to have this written down somewhere because the lady said the same words verbatim every time she came. But I nodded and acted like she was tellin’ me something new anyway.

“So Mrs. Salis,” I began, clipping the sheet around her neck to catch the hair I would trim off. “How is that husband of yours?” She settled back into the chair comfortably and started her predictably long tale. I took the scissors and started clipping away, nodding and “mhm”ing in all the appropriate places as she recounted the story of how he accused her of cheating on him last week.

I was just tousling her hair with my fingers and running an eye over my handiwork when she finished her story. “He really oughta know I wouldn’t do anything. I can’t understand how he gets off askin’ me something like that.” Her voice was indignant and sharp, an’ I was quick to hop on her side.

“Men,” I rolled my eyes, and she clucked agreeably. “Now how’s this look?” I asked, pulling her hair through my fingers on either side of her face and looking in the mirror for her reaction.

She grinned with contentment. “Perfect, Darlin’.”

“Good,” I walked over to the register, my heels clicking against the tile, and she followed doggedly behind me, pulling out her checkbook. “The trim comes out to $3.95.” She probably had the cost memorized too, since she was here ev’ry three weeks for the exact same thing. Mrs. Salis just wasn’t much a fan of experimentation.

“Here ya go, hunny.” She handed me the check and a one dollar bill, and I smiled appreciatively.

“I’ll see ya again in three weeks. Keep that husband of yours on his toes, ya hear?”

She chuckled and wiggled her fingers at me as she left, the door chime pinging as it shut again behind her.

Once she was gone, I put the check in the register and the cash into the pocket of my apron. Then I sat down on the chair she’d sat in just ten minutes earlier and turned it around so my back was to the mirror.

Sally and Diane were both working on their appointments, and Rita was doing a dye job on a walk-in. Paula was the only other stylist who was free, and she was tidying up her station, which was an hourly habit for her. She was a sweet thing, but my Lord she was obsessive about organization.

I glanced behind me at my own area, with combs and razors and scissors scattered wherever there was an extra space. I had my high school diploma hanging on the wall beside me, and a picture of my pa and me was taped to the top right corner of the mirror.

There was also a little wallet size picture of Two-Bit, me, Liam and his girl Bailey. Bailey and I got on pretty well, and Liam and Two-Bit liked to goof around sometimes, so the four of us had a pretty good time when we were all together.

‘Course, at the moment Two-Bit an’ I were on an off-period. I looked at him in the picture, the wide grin and that greasy red hair, and tapped my fingernails against my leg. I’d tried to get him to let me shave off those sideburns more than once, but he always managed to sidestep the subject, usually with the use of his lips or hands…

“Hey Kathy, you got time f’r a hair dye?” Paula asked. While I’d been spacing out, another customer had walked in. If it had been someone else askin’, I would have told them to do it themselves, but Paula was real bad with hair dye, as we’d all found out a couple weeks ago. She tried, poor thing, but after the last lady left in an angry huff with her hair bright purple, we kinda all agreed we’d take the dye jobs off her hands.

I glanced over at the clock on the wall, 4:15, and sighed. I was gonna be late getting off again, but I agreed anyway.

It was two hours later that the customer left with newly brunette hair an’ a lighter pocketbook. I took off my apron and folded it up, hanging it on a hook by my station and taking the cash from the pockets. I shoved the bills into my purse and shook out a cigarette from my pack, lighting up as I signed out.

“Bye ladies.”

I got a chorus of “good-bye”s and “see ya later”s.

My house was only about a mile from the hair salon, which was situated in a shopping center on Cherry Street. It was closer to the North side, but a lot of people came for the stores, so we got a good cross-section of both classes and those in between. Taking a drag on my cigarette, I started off for my neighborhood.

The weather was pretty nice, mid-70s, but I knew it would get cooler once the sun started to set. It was always pretty chilly when I set out for work in the morning.

Two-Bit’ll come and pick me up from the salon every once in a while, when we’re together, that is. At the moment, he was avoiding me, having broken it off just a few weeks earlier. Of course, he and I rarely have real, official splits. He usually just stops calling an’ talking to me and goes out with another girl. This time I hadn’t spoken to him in a week and a half.

I wasn’t particularly worried, and was actually startin’ to get rather blasé about his shenanigans. Over the past two years, since I was sixteen an’ we started dating, I’ve learned a few things about Two-Bit Mathews, an’ right on the top of the list is that he’ll take off running whenever he gets nervous or restless.

He’d be back, I was sure. At the end of the day, it’s… well, it’s me. Two-Bit an’ Kathy. We’re just one of them couples, a little like Steve and Evie but not quite so dysfunctional, and maybe like Soda and Sandy but not so prim and proper, or maybe like Dally and Sylvia, except not near as crazed.

We might not be considered stable by normal standards, but we’re real good together, he an’ I are.
---

Annnnnnd it's gone. I was planning on taking it through the book, with a closer look at the things that happened to Two-Bit through Kathy, like when he got jumped and such, and I still might. I just have to get un-stuck. And I find it to be a bad omen that I'm stuck after, what, three pages? If that.

*Sigh.*

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 05:13:00 GMT

I need to be struck with some type of amazing inspiration, so that I'll be able to write for weeks. One of those situations where you're up late because you've got it all in your head and you don't want to stop. That happened last night, but quickly fizzled this morning.

The fruits of my labor?
---

If there’s one thing I hate more ‘an fake girls, it’s whining. Which is probably why my job always leaves me wantin’ to shoot myself near the end of any shift. Only reason I kept it was f’r the cash and the gossip. Ain’t no better place to find out the lowdown on anybody on the Northside than the beauty parlor. Of course, after an hour of listening to Little Miss Priss complain about her parents and how strict they are and how they never ever let her do anything, the benefits of my job paled in comparison. Then she didn’t even tip me for the bitchin’ cut I gave her.
“Kathy, yer ten o’ clock is here!’ Laurie called out the propped back door. I glanced back inside long enough to catch a glimpse of Mrs. Salis clutching her purse by the front register. With a sigh, I dropped the cigarette I’d been smoking on the pavement and stamped it out with the toe of my pointed shoe. Mrs. Salis usually tipped pretty well—only thing she’s more protective of than her money is her bob—so I tried to keep her satisfied, which meant big smiles and even bigger ears.
“I hope you weren’t waiting long, Mrs. Salis. If you wanna hop on into my chair, we c’n get you started.”
She smiled with relief, like I was the only thing keeping the other stylists from taking a buzzsaw to her hair, and followed me. “Now Kathy, I just want it trimmed up a little. Same exact cut, just a little cleaner, okay?” She had to have this written down somewhere because the lady said the same words verbatim every time she came. But I nodded and acted like she was tellin’ me something new anyway.
“So Mrs. Salis,” I began, clipping the sheet around her neck to catch the hair I would trim off. “How is that husband of yours?” She settled back into the chair comfortably and started her predictably long tale. I took the scissors and started clipping away, nodding and “mhm”ing in all the appropriate places as she recounted the story of how he accused her of cheating on him last week.
I was just tousling her hair with my fingers and running an eye over my handiwork when she finished her story. “He really oughta know I wouldn’t do anything. I can’t understand how he gets off askin’ me something like that.” Her voice was indignant and sharp, an’ I was quick to hop on her side.
“Men,” I rolled my eyes, and she clucked agreeably. “Now how’s this look?” I asked, pulling her hair through my fingers on either side of her face and looking in the mirror for her reaction.
She grinned with contentment. “Perfect, Darlin’.”
“Good,” I walked over to the register, my heels clicking against the tile, and she followed doggedly behind me, pulling out her checkbook. “The trim comes out to $3.95.” She probably had the cost memorized too, since she was here ev’ry three weeks for the exact same thing. Mrs. Salis just wasn’t much a fan of experimentation.
“Here ya go, hunny.” She handed me the check and a one dollar bill, and I smiled appreciatively.
“I’ll see ya again in three weeks. Keep that husband of yours on his toes, ya hear?”
She chuckled and wiggled her fingers at me as she left, the door chime pinging as it shut again behind her.
Once she was gone, I put the check in the register and the cash into the pocket of my apron. Then I sat down on the chair she’d sat in just ten minutes earlier and turned it around so my back was to the mirror.
Sally and Diane were both working on their appointments, and Rita was doing a dye job on a walk-in. Paula was the only other stylist who was free, and she was tidying up her station, which was an hourly habit for her. She was a sweet thing, but my Lord she was obsessive about organization.
I glanced behind me at my own area, with combs and razors and scissors scattered wherever there was an extra space. I had my high school diploma hanging on the wall beside me, and a picture of my pa and me was taped to the top right corner of the mirror.
There was also a little wallet size picture of Two-Bit, me, Liam and his girl Bailey. Bailey and I got on pretty well, and Liam and Two-Bit liked to goof around sometimes, so the four of us had a pretty good time when we were all together.
‘Course, at the moment Two-Bit an’ I were on an off-period. I looked at him in the picture, the wide grin and that greasy red hair, and tapped my fingernails against my leg. I’d tried to get him to let me shave off those sideburns more than once, but he always managed to sidestep the subject, usually with the use of his lips or hands…
“Hey Kathy, you got time f’r a hair dye?” Paula asked. While I’d been spacing out, another customer had walked in. If it had been someone else askin’, I would have told them to do it themselves, but Paula was real bad with hair dye, as we’d all found out a couple weeks ago. She tried, poor thing, but after the last lady left in an angry huff with her hair bright purple, we kinda all agreed we’d take the dye jobs off her hands.
I glanced over at the clock on the wall, 4:15, and sighed. I was gonna be late getting off again, but I agreed anyway.
It was two hours later that the customer left with newly brunette hair an’ a lighter pocketbook. I took off my apron and folded it up, hanging it on a hook by my station and taking the cash from the pockets. I shoved the bills into my purse and shook out a cigarette from my pack, lighting up as I signed out.
“Bye ladies.”
I got a chorus of “good-bye”s and “see ya later”s.
My house was only about a mile from the hair salon, which was situated in a shopping center on Cherry Street. It was closer to the North side, but a lot of people came for the stores, so we got a good cross-section of both classes and those in between. Taking a drag on my cigarette, I started off for my neighborhood.
The weather was pretty nice, mid-70s, but I knew it would get cooler once the sun started to set. It was always pretty chilly when I set out for work in the morning.
Two-Bit’ll come and pick me up from the salon every once in a while, when we’re together, that is. At the moment, he was avoiding me, having broken it off just a few weeks earlier. Of course, he and I rarely have real, official splits. He usually just stops calling an’ talking to me and goes out with another girl. This time I hadn’t spoken to him in a week and a half.
I wasn’t particularly worried, and was actually startin’ to get rather blasé about his shenanigans. Over the past two years, since I was sixteen an’ we started dating, I’ve learned a few things about Two-Bit Mathews, an’ right on the top of the list is that he’ll take off running whenever he gets nervous or restless.
He’d be back, I was sure. At the end of the day, it’s… well, it’s me. Two-Bit an’ Kathy. We’re just one of them couples, a little like Steve and Evie but not quite so dysfunctional, and maybe like Soda and Sandy but not so prim and proper, or maybe like Dally and Sylvia, except not near as crazed.
We might not be considered stable by normal standards, but we’re real good together, he an’ I are.
---

Annnnnnd it's gone. I was planning on taking it through the book, with a closer look at the things that happened to Two-Bit through Kathy, like when he got jumped and such, and I still might. I just have to get un-stuck. And I find it to be a bad omen that I'm stuck after, what, three pages? If that.

*Sigh.*

Fanfiction troubles?

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 16:49:55 GMT

Okay, so I'm confused... Mars: In your reply to my review of Chapter 10, you said that there would be a new one-shot added to Through the Glass Darkly that week, and then on your last chapter, you said that Artemis would add Chapter 5 this week, as well.

Once I clued in to the fact that I haven't read a new chapter in quite some time, I figured maybe my alert system wasn't working on that story, so I searched for it, and it's only on Chapter 3. Where's Chapter 4? Or 5, although that might have just not been posted yet?

I don't blame you if you haven't found the time to put them up yet (I'm no one to talk on that subject), but if ff.net is just standing in the way of me reading them, well then I'm perturbed.

<3
Tiffany Lea

Only me

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 06:31:11 GMT

I swear. People dye their hair allll the time, right? And it never turns out bad. It looks natural. Half the time I never even know it's been dyed.

Except, you know, when I finally work up the courage to dye mine. It took me 2 YEARS to finally get the guts to do it, and I went to the salon and paid $70 for my hair to turn purple. Not kidding. It's purple.

I said, very specifically, "I want an brown/red auburn color, but the MOST IMPORTANT thing to me is that it looks natural. I don't want any person walking down the street to be able to tell I dyed it." I said those exact words.

ON WHAT PLANET IS PURPLE A NATURAL HAIR COLOR?

Ohemgee. You should have seen it when they first finished. You know the purple Flinstone vitamins? It was almost that color. I came home and washed it six times, and now it's faded considerably. I think it's halfway liveable, but it's definitely NOT natural.

That really makes me mad. I'm going back on Saturday to have them fix it and make it, you know, what I asked for, but it's obnoxious that this has to happen to the girl that is TERRIFIED of dying her hair. Grrr. Biggest mistake of my life.

= /

<3
TIffany Lea

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 04:41:23 GMT

Aaaa! I finally managed to write some type of an ending for Annabelle! I think I'm going to quickly stick it up on fanfiction.net before I change my mind and decide that I really hate it and scrap the whole thing. I don't think I'm ever going to end it otherwise. So that will probably be up tonight. If not, well then it probably never will.

Meanwhile, all four days thus far of my fall break (we have tomorrow off too) have been filled with... House. 11 episodes, to be exact. Ridiculous, I know. Pathetic, even. And the weird thing is... I don't even like medical stuff. My mom is a nurse and, believe me, she tried to get me and my sister interested in the field, but it just didn't work. My sister has a paranoia of all things medical, and I'm hardly exaggerating, so she just won't watch medical shows at all and goes to the doctor only when she has to. And as for me, it just creeps me out sometimes. It's kind of like... once you know all the little things that have to work in order for you to exist, you know how many little things could go wrong. However, I'm really intrigued by this one show in particular. It's not about the cases they diagnose or anything like that. It's about the doctor... Gregory House. Just the whole concept of a miserable, pill-popping, genius doctor with a limp and a bad attitude... interesting, I think anyway. Of course, after I watch some episodes, I'm so sad that I have to think about something else. It's a TV show, I know. Completely fake. But ugh... still so sad.
Dr. Cameron: I used to think you couldn't love anyone. I was wrong. You just couldn't love me. It's okay. I'm happy for you.
Sad, no!?
Stacy (House's ex, and the only girl he probably ever loved and hasn't seen in five years): I'm here because... I need a favor. I need you to diagnose my husband. He's been to six doctors, and none of them have been able to figure out what is wrong with him.
House: No.
Stacy: Why not? Are you that angry with me, after five years, that you can't spend a few hours to diagnose him?
House: No, it's not that. I just don't know if I want him to live.
Or something along those lines anyway. I improvised a little.

But enough about that. I could probably go on for hours if I keep talking about House.

<3
Tiffany Lea

Potential Annabelle spoilers

Sun, 05 Aug 2007 07:33:39 GMT

You know what I'm curious about?

Annabelle and Ponyboy. I kind of like the dynamic of throwing them together, after she gets her act together a little bit. In a sequel or something. Because of course Darry and Soda want to see Annabelle doing well, but how would they feel about her good influence being their baby brother? I doubt they'd be too happy then. And Two-Bit... how thick is blood? Would things be a little awkward around him and Darry because Two-Bit sides with Annabelle, or would he take an indifferent stance and say it's none of his business, or would some part of him actually lecture Annabelle to watch what she's doing because Pony doesn't deserve to be dragged down?

Not to mention that Pony has college in his future, but it's doubtful Annabelle will go to university. So what breaks them up? Outside influences, her own destructive behavior, his future?

That is one plot I wouldn't mind messing around with. But I'm not entirely sure I want to write a sequel.

Of course I guess I should focus on tying the first one up. Ehh, I'm so horrible at endings. I'm not really sure how I want to close this one. Hopefully within the next five chapters though.

<3
Tiffany Lea

Oklahoma weather

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 19:02:11 GMT

Have I mentioned how much I hate Oklahoma weather? Really though, it's not even the weather that deserves all of my spite--it's the *weathermen*. The people that sit on the TV and say things like "folks, this is the beginning of the end, if you will" and "Tornadoes could drop from the sky anytime during this storm" and all of that junk. They try their hardest to scare us to death, and it undeniably works every time. I'm so sick of it. They exaggerate everything.

Meanwhile, I'm currently supposed to be taking a math test. Instead I'm in an empty classroom on LJ listening to the Chris Daughtry CD and chit chatting with people on AIM. How much do I love newspaper staff?

But yeah, I'm skipping math to take the test at a later date when I will hopefully be better prepared, and plus, my parents are coming to pick me up ASAP because of the storms. Now, if they'd let me drive today like I was supposed to, I would already be at home, but whatever. I'm not bitter or anything.

You know what else I hate? The train that goes by our school. I think I just jumped five feet in the air because it flew past, and everyone knows tornadoes sound like trains. Be still, my racing heart...

Ugh and I wore flip flops today, too. I'm gonna get soaked.

<3
Tiffany

Tunes

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 06:23:14 GMT

Ten Favorite Bands (Only a slight order; may contain some people):

1. All American Rejects
2. The Fray
3. Nickelback
4. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
5. Jimmy Eat World
6. Three Doors Down
7. Hellogoodbye
8. Ashlee Simpson (yeah, whatev, shut up)
9. Vertical Horizon
10. The Red Hot Chili Peppers

What was the first song you ever heard by 6?
Oh boy. Probably Touchdown, Turnaround

What is your favorite song of 2?
She Is, All At Once or Trust Me

What is your favorite lyric of 5?
"should have never started / ain't that the way it always ends?" from If You Don't, Don't

How many times have you seen 4 live?
Just once

What is your favorite song by 7?
I still very muchly like Here In Your Arms, even if it is way overplayed

Is there any song by 3 that makes you sad?
Hm. Not really...

What is your favorite lyric of 2?
"there's really no way to reach me / 'cause I'm already gone" from Vienna

What is your favorite song by 9?
Probably I'm Still Here or Everything You Want

When did you first get into 1?
Way back when my sister got into them. She introduced me...

How did you get into 3?
I'm not sure, really. I liked some of their songs, and then I just started looking up more of them and realized I liked a lot of them.

What is your favorite song by 4?
Wheww. Right now probably Angels Cry or Cat and Mouse. They've got a lot of good ones, though...

How many times have you seen 9 live?
None, sadly

What is a good memory concerning 4?
fjdka;jfdlka; I saw them with ExBoyfriend. It was one of our first dates, and it was cold, but we were together and he wrapped his arms around me to keep me warm. It took us forever and a day to find the concert, though, because it was for UCO's homecoming, and it was in the middle of the campus. My sissy, who was there, told me to follow the lights and the noise, so I did, and wound up at the football game. Lol. But we finally found it. I actually met Scotty there, too. And then ExBoyfriend and I left and he carried me, honeymoon style, over the grass so I didn't get wet and dewy.

Is there a song by 10 that makes you sad?
Yesss. Tell Me Baby, just because it was one of ExBoyfriend's and my songs. I cried when I heard it live with him.

What is your favorite song of 1?
I really like Night Drive

How did you become a fan of 10?
Umm, well they were always good, but then ExBoyfriend really got me into them.

What is your favorite song of 8?
Ooo, she has many good ones. I kinda like Pieces of Me, because it reminds me of summer and stuff.

How did you become a fan of 8?
I liked her sister, and then I just kinda started listening to her. She's good, goshdarnit!

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 21:01:40 GMT

I found this song (Halo by Haley James), and it kind of reminds me of Sandy. I can see Soda as looking at her like this, making her out to be perfect when she's really not, and her almost cracking under the pressure. She knows she's not perfect and that she even cheated on him, but she can't find the words to tell him because he has this glorified opinion of her.

I never promised you a ray of light,
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday,
I give you everything I have, the good, the bad.
Why do you put me on a pedestal,
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below,
So help me down you've got it wrong, I don't belong there.

One thing is clear,
I wear a halo,
I wear a halo when you look at me,
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so
you wouldn't say so, if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you,
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

I always said that I would make mistakes,
I'm only human, and that’s my saving grace,
I fall as hard as I try
So don't be blinded
See me as I really am, I have flaws and sometimes I even sin,
so pull me from that pedestal,
I don't belong there.

One thing is clear,
I wear a halo,
I wear a halo when you look at me,
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so
you wouldn't say so, if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you,
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

Why you think that you know me
But In your eyes
I am something above you
It’s only in your mind
Only in your mind
I wear a
I wear a
I wear a Halo

One thing is clear,
I wear a halo,
I wear a halo when you look at me,
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so
you wouldn't say so, if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you,
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

Haaaa ha-ha halo

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 21:04:46 GMT

New chap of Annabelle is up, for those who care. Not my fav, but oh well.

And it's my 17th birfday!!! 'Tis I am very happy. My newspaper staff got together and bought me insane amounts of chocolate (I must have gotten *several* pounds) and presented it to me Friday. Made me feel verrrry loved!

Today, I got my family gifts, which were just my class ring and clothes, and then next weekend I'm getting my friend gifts, since I'm having my dinner next weekend. I'm excited.

And I'm also 17. Whew. Sweet seventeen, right?

<3
Tiffany Lea

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 01:24:58 GMT

Mondays are always so dragged out and yucky. Even, yes, BALTO week Monday.

BALTO is our big fundraiser of the school. We raise money for a prechosen organization that we feel deserves it by hosting all sorts of crazy events throughout the week. Some volunteers from each grade bring and sell food and other little things for donations, and we have assemblies every day to get everyone pumped up. It stands for Bring A Light To Others, and the double meaning is that Balto was the husky sled dog that saved lives by making trips to get medicine in freezing cold weather (or something), and our mascot is a husky.

So although today was the first day, which meant that people were selling everything from Jamba Juice to cupcakes to puppy chow to pizza and everywhere you turned someone was entertaining crowds of students, I still did not have all that much fun. Katy and I are both relatively depressed this BALTO week because we've both got all this social junk dragging us down. She finally understands how I've felt these past three months because Sam has officially turned on her as well, and she's the new target for everyone to exclude and make feel uncomfortable. And you know my current situation with Boyfriend.

All in all, this is just not the best time of the year for me. And I know I said that I was happy and okay with the whole breaking up with Boyfriend thing, and I was when I said that, but... I'm not. I'm still hurting and we haven't even broken up yet. He's driving me crazy and I know that I won't be happy if we stay together, but I keep thinking about how things were in the beginning, how much fun we had and how he got me through so many rough things, and I start to cry. Yuck, I'm tearing up now, even. I don't know what I'm going to do, because things really aren't how they used to be and he's not the same person I really fell for, but goshdarnit, it hurts so bad and it hasn't even happened yet. = (

But on a less depressing note, Katy bought me a cupcake today and Kate bought me a slice of pizza and Mrs. A (our journalism adviser) bought us a big bag of Hershey kisses. Yummyness. I felt superly loved.

Anyway, I'm out.

<3
Tiffany

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:49:08 GMT

"...it's amazing how you can speak right to my heart / without saying a word, you can light up the dark / try as i may, i could never expect / what i hear when you don't say a thing / the smile on your face let's know that you need me / there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me / the touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever i fall / you say it best / when you say nothing at all..."

^I'm feeling very much like that right about now. Boyfriend just left, and wow... I don't even know what to say. Things are just amazing right now. I guess you could say that he and I have definite ups and downs, though, since yesterday I would hardly look him in the eye I was so mad at him. Of course, yesterday night though, I had thawed off enough so that he never even really knew I was ever mad. I prefer it that way right now, because I know I'm flipping out over nothing when I get mad, and I'm just jealous. So I just let myself cool off and try not to see him until I'm okay. And today was incredible. He just came over and we rented Gridiron Gang, though I couldn't tell you what the heck happened in it. We talked a lot--just about random stuff--and just kinda hung around. He makes me laugh... and I love it. And we're both very intense (since we're both Pisces), which I think makes things that much more amazing.

Hm, I just got a letter from the bank. Apparantly, I *may* have let my account get a *little* bit too low, so they're charging me, like, 30 bucks. Oopsie. I guess I better go make a deposit... And I may not want to tell my parents about that... haha. Good news is, though, that since my ACT tutor decided to only charge me a flat rate of $350 instead of $500, which was what we were expecting, that means I've got an extra $150 in my savings account that I can move over for personal use. Always a good thing.

The other day, my parents met with my ACT tutor to talk to her about my test scores and such and see where to go from here, and they were just sitting there talking about how much potential I've got and how I can go anywhere from here and how I can do anything I want to and everything, and they just all looked at me. They had these big grins on their faces and a sparkle in their eyes (I swear, I'm not making this up), and I just remember this rock settling in my stomach. I was smiling like the rest of them were, acting like I was happy, but inside, I was freaking out. I guess I'm just really starting to wonder what's going to happen in the next few years, and I'm scared to death of letting everyone down. I used to love it when people would say things to me about how smart I am or whatever, but now, I just kinda freeze and nod, smile and say thank you, but I'm shutting down on the inside. Because I'm scared of what they're saying, I guess. Sometimes I just wish no one expected anything of me. I mean, my gosh, I know my parents will be proud no matter what and they don't mean to put any pressure on me, but it feels like I have to be perfect. When I got my 33 back, I remember my dad saying "this is a really incredible score, Tiffany. I'm extremely proud of you." And my mom said something about how I *should* get a full ride scholarship, but I better take it again just in case since 34 is the official score that will give me those huge scholarships. And my dad said "you know, if you could get a 36 (perfect score), though, no one would be able to beat you. You'd be the best." He doesn't mean any harm by it, he's only saying it because he thinks I'm fully capable of making that score, which is a compliment, but wow. Pressure much?

But I'm not gonna think abou that right now. For now, I just want to have a good time.

<3
Tiffany

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 01:39:46 GMT

So the cover story that we're doing this month is on "mean girls" and how absolutely vicious high school girls can be. It's a subject that's been dramatized in the past, and I think a lot of people think that that's all the movies and articles and books are--over the top and exaggerated. But see, that's not true. I mean, I have my drama, which is bad enough. But my friends are actually highly toned down in comparison to some of the people that we're interviewing.

I think a lot of people have a hard time believing that this stuff happens in our suburban little town, but goodness, I think it might be even worse here than elsewhere. Here, everyone is nice on the surface, which makes all the deceptions and such so much worse.

We've actually spoken with someone that dropped out of high school because things got so horrible. A girl was just attacking her, calling her and threatening her and going so far as to insult and make fun of her niece that hadn't made it past 3 months before dying. How can you even do that? How can you be so cruel about the deceased? A *baby*, no less. I just don't understand. So she dropped out to get away from it all.

And then we're hoping to speak with two girls at our school that have restraining orders against each other, which should be interesting.

We also talked to a boy who knew a girl that didn't like him. This girl talked to some older boys that she was friends with and convinced them that the boy had said things to her that he hadn't. She actually persuaded them to run him off the road while he was driving. That's huge. I mean, he could have been killed.

It's just, like, woah. I don't even know. It's insane, though. I'm doing all this research on psychololgy and reading books about it, though. I read a really interesting article in the New York Times Magazine from 2002 called Girls Just Want To Be Mean, and from that, I got a list of books that deal with the same thing that I checked out from the library today.

While I was at the library, though, I also picked up some books on Vietnam that I'm itching to look through now.

And on a side note, being on a newspaper staff makes me totally lose track of time. Iss that just me? I keep putting February on all my papers because on staff, we *are* in February. We're writing those articles and getting ready for the February issue. But the real world is still in January. Strange.

But anyway, I have plenty to do this weekend. I'm really hoping to update ASAP, but we'll see.

<3
Tiffany